Work is a Four Letter Word for a Reason

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Work is a Four Letter Word for a Reason

Jessica Leo, LMSW 
 

Yes, work is stressful and most of us only do it because we have no choice.  The trick is to learn how to make work a four letter word that does not inspire you to use those other four letter words that are not so appropriate in the work environment! 
 

Here are a few tips to making work… work for you: 
 

Attitude and Investment 
 

I think it is important – and not just an old cliché that anything worth doing is worth doing well.  There is nothing worse than heading off to a job with a negative attitude, doing the bare minimum and remaining uninvolved.  It makes the day drag and you are not going to feel good about yourself either.  
 

We only start to feel good when we feel invested and proud of a job well done.  Committing yourself to doing your best – no matter what your job is – inspires others to do the same and boosts your self esteem and work ethic.  Take the time to learn about your company/organization – what is their mission and how can you contribute affectively?  Sharpen your skills by getting involved in trainings, being aware of changes that affect your specific job and taking part in staff and other important meetings.  The idea is to stay current with what is going on and how it affects you and your position.  This includes being aware of the trends of similar businesses- What has people talking today?  What's coming?  How are other people and companies taking advantage of these changes?  What technology is on the horizon?  What skills will you need in the future?  What courses or books will help you prepare?  If I work in the electronics department at Walmart, it is just as important to know what technology is hot and how they work so that I can better inform and direct my customers – as it would be if I worked in a Marketing firm and need to sell my ideas to prospective clients.  It’s all about attitude and taking pride in what you do.  It will make you feel good about what you do and how you do it.  Oftentimes, companies have award programs – even if it is just simply recognition during a staff meeting or a positive review that results in a raise.  If you are doing the above, chances are your superiors will notice too and you won’t need to go out of your way wondering what you can do to achieve the same positive recognition to validate all of your hard work. 
 

Handling Conflict 
 

How do you stay cool in a situation at work that makes you feel like you are going to explode or makes you feel so fraught with anxiety that you feel like the walls are closing in?  Take a time out (it’s not just for kids anymore…).  Walk away from the situation and use the power of affirmations to help you calm down.  Find a quiet, private place that you can go (a bathroom while looking into a mirror would be great) – stand up tall, shoulders square and confidently tell yourself:

• “ I can do this”
• “ I’m not going to let them get to me”
• “I am calm and I am a professional”
• “I can make this work”
• “okay, minor set back – what’s most important is what I do next”
• “I will handle this situation”
• “ focus – I’m on top of this”
• “I will find the positive in this”

Tell yourself that you can do whatever it is you need to accomplish at that time.  You will see an instant change in your demeanor and feel calmer and ready for what happens next. 
 

Handling Criticism 
 

When someone is being critical of you or your work – it is hard to hear.  But we need to view it as an opportunity to grow from the information.  It the criticism is valid – own it- and take responsibility from it; it can only help you improve and invest further in yourself and your work.  If the criticism in invalid – don’t get mad or defensive.  Instead:

• Respectfully disagree, with a valid example backing why
• Agree in part or with the underlying principal - Example: If you are a teacher and a parent says “you are being too hard on my child” you can respond with "Yes, I might be at times, but it is only because I know he is capable of the work, so I won’t accept excuses." Or agree with the principle behind the criticism, such as "You're right, being too hard can seem like I don’t care…but the truth is that I do – and that is why I push." This technique allows you to gracefully deflect the criticizer while also brushing off their implied judgments – and you remain the professional
• Always remain calm.  If you let your emotions carry you away, you may regret it later and reputations are difficult to reclaim.

Non Verbal Communication 
 

You say more with your body language than you do with spoken words!  Remember these key points: 
 

• Make positive eye contact and avoid looking all over the place as if looking for an excuse or the nearest exit
• Use proximity to your advantage.  When speaking with someone, you don’t want to invade their personal space making them uncomfortable, but at the same time you want to show you are invested in what they have to say by maintaining a close, but appropriate proximity.
• Shake hands by extending your full hand (palm included) and shaking firmly.  If you want the person to feel even more comfortable (like they have the upper hand) make sure their hand is on top of yours. It draws them in closer and makes them feel more powerful.  When you have your hand on top, it says the opposite – that you are the one that wants control. 
• Show understanding and interest in a conversation by using head nods. It will encourage others to continue speaking, knowing that you care about what is being said. 

Establish Positive Working Relationships 
 

The only thing worse than hating what you do, is not having anyone to vent to or bring levity to our day at work.  Being friendly with colleagues, helps to alleviate stress by giving us something to look forward to: Help when we need it, a good laugh, a safe place to vent or problem solve, etc.  Don’t isolate yourself at work; get involved, lend a helping hand, show genuine interest, listen, ask questions (showing interest) and be the kind of co-worker that you would like to have…it will make establishing these relationships easier and help you maintain them as well. 
 

We may all have to work – but by making the best of the situation; that four letter word can enrich your life by providing you not only with opportunities for growth within your field, but personally as well. 
 

2010